- Registration / Signin
- Professionals Signin
5 ways to join
- To order Books/Cards/Forms
- Learn Before You Decide
- Cards to complete a Natural Dying—Living Will
- How the Natural Dying Living Will works for religious observers
- Plan Now; Die Later—Ironclad Strategy explained
- NATURAL DYING® FORMS for a Plan Now; Die Later—Ironclad Strategy
- DNR-Registry Medallion
- On-line Store
- Video series: Plan Now, Die Later--Peacefully
- Natural Dying®
- Natural Dying®
- Articles on End of Life Planning The Sooner Mother Dies the Better Palliative Sedation: Pros and Cons
- Slide Presentations:
For general audiences
- Free phone consultation
Why Join a Trusting Circle? / Create your own SeniorBook
Join a Trusting Circle to create two kinds of SeniorBooks. You can join one or both.
- Create a SeniorBook of Proxies: Join a Trusting Circle of Proxies for the opportunity to discuss difficult end-of-life decisions with others, find one or more people you can trust to be your Proxy who are NOT related to you, and create a SeniorBook of Proxies.
- More information
- Complete and submit a questionnaire to help Caring Advocates staff place you in an appropriate Trusting Circle for creating a Caring Advocates Proxies SeniorBook.
- Create a SeniorBook of Values Memoirs: Join a Trusting Circle of Memoirs Creators to learn how to share important events and values of your life, to help get you started and to learn important techniques with support and feedback from other writers who are also beginning to create their Values Memoirs. Whether your choice for the final product is a two-page letter, a bound book, a collection of annotated photographs, or someone who interviews you on an audio or video recording, this is a good place to start your creativity.
- Trusting Circles for SeniorBook of Caring Advocates Proxies
As we get older, it becomes more and more difficult to find individuals we can trust to be AVAILABLE, ABLE, and WILLING to advocate for our Last Wishes. Sometimes people are out of town traveling, or they are also sick, or just not as alert and functional in their mental functioning as they once were.
We also must consider how much of a burden it will be to ask those who love us. In our experience, many people are asked to serve, to function as a Proxy for the first time without a prior apprenticeship. Even if everyone who qualifies as a close family member or friend agrees, the awesome responsibility of making a life-or-death determining decision can cause stress and lead to guilt from six sources:
- They agreed to make the decisions that you wanted and did so, but feel guilty because it was in CONFLICT with their own religious or moral values;
- They did NOT make the decisions they knew you wanted because of the conflict with their own religious or moral values and thus they feel guilty because they let you down, which caused you to suffer more and longer;
- They had no conflict with religious or moral values but they did not realize when they agreed that when that time came, they could just not make a life-or-death determining medical decision for someone whom they and others loved so much in a word, they could just not let you go;
- There were no conflicts, but they were still unsure if they made the decision too early and thus caused you to lose some possibly enjoyable weeks or months of your life.
- They had no conflict with religious or moral values, but they were still unsure if they made the decision too late and thus caused you to endure unnecessarily prolonged pain and suffering or indignity for the last weeks or months of your life.
- They had to deal with someone, perhaps a clinical provider or a close family member or friend, who disagreed with either WHAT or WHEN they made their decision, and that caused stress, conflict, raised doubt, and subsequently they felt guilty.
For these and other reasons, it is advisable for everyone to create a SeniorBook list of potential Proxies that are ordered into a sequence, so that if one person on your list is NOT willing, NOT available, or NOT able, then the next designated alternate can serve as your Proxy.
For the person who ultimately serves as your Proxy, there are five ways YOU can help to decrease potential stress and guilt:
- Include in your Proxy Directive, words that acknowledge that even you would find it difficult to make such decisions and that all you can ask is for him or her to make the best decision possible with the information available at that time;
- Be sure you have adequate discussions with your potential Proxies so they understand your Last Wishes;
- Provide your Proxy with supportive backups, such as a membership to Caring Advocates (so they can receive advice from our professional staff);
- Try to resolve potential conflicts (in values or between people) ahead of time; and,
- Designate the staff of Caring Advocates as an alternate Proxy (this option is not available to all, but we will consider your request).
Caring Advocates can help:
We can help organize groups of people in your area to form Trusting Circles for creating SeniorBooks of Caring Advocates Proxies, to provide advice and answer questions that arise.
When that time comes, we can provide support and advice to the person who is acting as your Proxy. We can also discuss the options and consult with the professionals involved in your treatment (if desired by you or your Proxy).
Right now, we can help your facilitate your discussions with questionnaires (and in some cases, personal interviews) to assist the learning process of your Proxies so that they can feel confident they understand your Last Wishes. The more confident they are, the less stress and guilt they will experience, and the more likely the decisions they make will be the ones you would also have made.
Start by completing this questionnaire for those who wish to join Trusting Circles for Caring Advocates SeniorBook of Proxies, or by giving us a call. We have provided boxes for you to add a few words, rather than just say Yes or No, if you wish:
Share the experience of creating your own written, video, or audio SeniorBook Values Memoir.
When is the best time to write down what you want others to remember about you? Now! For two reasons:
- One is obvious: You never know when your ability to do this will be lost.
- The other is subtle: When you write down your values and/or relate the important events of your life, people often discover that they continue living the rest of their lives with more meaning, deeper purpose, and expanded fulfillment.
Still, it is often difficult to begin. That is why Caring Advocates will help form Trusting Circles for Creating SeniorBook Values Memoirs which can be either local (for example in your senior center or library), or on the internet.
How do you start?
Complete the questionnaire below or give us a call, and we will try to place you in a Trusting Circle of like-minded individuals:
Questionnaire for those who wish to join Trusting Circles for Creating SeniorBook Values Memoirs
We'd like to help connect you with like-minded people to accomplish your creative goals so answer as many questions as seem relevant. (Note: Even if you want to create captions for a collection of photographs, or jot down some notes for a spontaneous audio or video interview, it is a good idea to start writing to explore your ideas.) We have provided boxes for you to add a few words, rather than just say Yes or No, if you wish: